Hopeless..
Utterly hopeless.
I'm still weak, it seems.
I've not grown any stronger.
I've open up again, be vulnerable.
To friends, to family, to emotions.
I can see progress though, I'm recovering quite well I'd say.
But to let her feel for me.. to let my crush feel for me..
I should be the one shouldering both our problems if am gonna do this right.
Not her. I don't want her to feel unease. But then again, if I look from her POV,
she, who is a strong and lovable person, would never let me carry this baggage of feels and sorrow all by myself.
Yes, she's that kind of person that cares.. that cares without strings attached.
That is why I have an attraction for her.
She's been through some painful past and came out strong, I daresay she came out stronger than I am.
And I want to be stronger, physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. So that I can hold us both.
This isn't a rant session, it seems. Just my diary space.. heh
We agreed to give ourselves time to wait till she finishes her IGCSE.
Stay friends, lay low.
Academics first.
A little update.
Am preparing for my resits for next week, mehh.. took a study leave from work.
Digital electronics phase test on monday (ms. norbi) 20th July '14
Fundamentals Digital Signal Processing on friday (mr. alvin) 25th July '14
Back to topic.
I will make sure that I'll be strong enough for the both of us.
I will make sure that she stays happy.
Even at the cost of my own, once again.. :")
Live live, die die.
I should sleep soon, hope I can tonite.
Don't want her to worry. hehe
I have a feeling I'll love her more than I'd expect I'd be able to.
Kudos to you when you read this again next time, Calvin. :)
Peace out.
11:50:30pm 16th July '14
neondrew29, MaskMane, Apathy.Lif, Philius LeShard
Remember your identity, dear me..
Stay happy (^__^)v
Goodnight.
Take care & God bless~
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