Bizzare

To wake up to a monotonous life,
to put on a mask and take on a character,
To humor, to comfort,
to encourage, to console,
To cheer someone up, to cry for them, to keep them in prayer.

Ending the day with vain words from 'family',
and then put myself to bed with no one to say goodnight to.
Such is my life, to color the lives of those around me at the cost of my own.

I may not be the saddest person on Earth,
but this grief is heavy and may someday bloom into a curse that constricts my entire being.
Tears has become totally worthless.
I've turned over too many leaves to 'start' over.
My identity has taken the shape of the character I adapted.
I've become the 'actor in my own play'.

I see no end.
I see no light in this tunnel.
God help me.
Please.

The Cure

The gray sky was starting to drizzle when he switched on the stolen Macintosh.

Its motor and internal processors hummed noiselessly in the background. The young man took off his sweaty shirt and dumped it on the bed whilst at the same time taking a cool wet towel from the basin and wiped the blood off his lips and forehead.

Dominic felt the cold grip of a hand on his shoulder. He spun around, tensed, to find a pair of lime green eyes locked onto his own dark blue ones. A surge of relief filled him when it was Holly, just Holly, not some stalker who hunted him back to his own home. With shoulders relaxed, he sat on the bed and pressed a few keys on the keyboard, then turned his attention back to the girl standing next to him.

“What do you want?” he asked tersely. She continued to gaze at him, her eyes then turned towards the blood stained towel lying on his bed. Her eyes grew as big as marbles before taking off to get first aid.

Dominic went back to work on the laptop, typing away furiously while his brain strained periodically to cope with the data displaying on the screen. He did not notice Holly when she came back with a box of bandages in her arms. He winced slightly when a plaster was placed over a minor gash on his forehead. His brows were knitted closely together, as was his concentration on the laptop was unbreakable.

His digital watch beeped the time nine o’clock. And as if on cue, he jumped up and out of the bed.

“I’ve got it!” Dominic exclaimed and then started muttering calculations and scientific terminologies under his own breathe. Once he confirmed that his theory was sound, he immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed a number he memorized and waited for the other end to pick up.

“Hello?” said Dominic, “Yes, I need to speak to Dr. John. Could you put me on please?” There was a pause before he continued. “Hello? Hi, good evening Dr. John. I know it’s late but please hear me out. I think I’ve found a cure to the… No, no, it’s true. Please, I beg-” He was cut off.

Dominic swore silently before he tried calling other doctors and health lecturers he knew. None of them game him their ear though. It was either a “Dr. so-and-so is busy right now” or a “Please don’t waste my time, Dominic” sort of response. He didn’t give up though. It was near midnight when he made his last call. It was to his parents, they were well known health experts in their time and were his role models and inspiration to join the medical field.

“Hi mom,” said Dominic, “Good evening, is dad there? …No, no, just put me on loudspeaker then… Hey, dad, I’m sorry to wake you both up but this is urgent and of great importance to- No, you have to listen to me. This time… this time it’s for real. No, please-” They cut him off.

Dominic was distraught. His own parents hang up on him, it wasn’t bad signal connection. He was cut off. Dominic stood stone still, staring off into space, his mouth hung dry. It was some time before he came back to his senses.

Holly, who was asleep, stirred on the bed, sat up and rubbed her eyes. He tossed his mobile towards the table, but it fell short and landed on the carpeted floor. He then sat beside her, tugging a strand of her sunflower-yellow hair aside from her face.

“Holly, you believe me,” said Dominic, “don’t you?” Holly placed her hands over his. He took his hand away from her face then.

“Do you believe me, Holly?” he pleaded. “Do you believe that I’ve found the cure?” He looked desperately into her eyes for answer, for acceptance, for acknowledgement.

She could only stare back.

[[updated on 11:38pm 2nd June 2014]]

What's happening to me? :S

First, i woke up realizing my sister's an important person in my life. (not that she isn't, i just haven't seen her with such importance in my life this way before. She's always a pain in the neck. Ugh.)

Second...
Screw life, I've just realized that I've been doing everything halfway.
And I'm not committed to anything. (or anyone in particular)
This came around during the evening, after playing 5 matches of badminton. ( 2v2, boys vs girls)
We, when i say we its mostly my fault, lost to them 2:3.

Third, it dawned onto me that I've been a failure all my life since i hit puberty.
I've been through the i'm-a-nerd-don't-come-near-me stage, the lone-wolf stage, the tall-freak stage, the i'm-retarded-because-i'm-home-schooled stage.
Sigh... I seriously don't know how many stages i can put up with this year.
But I'm 18 now, and i should be mature and all. What to do with my life? Sigh...
14/3/12

Dream 004 - MP

Never have I long for a girl this much in my life since for years ago after my breakup.

Her hair is wavy like the willows when the wind blows.
Her eyes bright with kindness.
Her voice, not like that of an angel's but that of a mother when crooning her crying child.
Her conduct, graceful as a diplomat.

That is all I have to say about her in my dream as in reality. (MP)
-Dream 004
written on 10/3/12

Dream 003 - SAVING THE WORLD

Overgrown bushes and creepers filled the CITY.
I was falling through space again..

Five minutes ago..
The old man in his forties, with a huge belly the size of a fully riped fetus met my eyes as i came out of the elevator onto the twenty somethinth floor. On my right was a balcony showing a view I did not care to look at that time.

On my left... the wall broke away, leaving a huge hole that can fit an elephant through. There was no room or hallway or any thing that suggested that it was an apartment. The old man was leaning back in his chair besides the hole and was sipping his coffee loudly when i disrupt his "moment"..

"Wa'dooya wan kiddo!" he said. I couldn't hear what i said but he just gestured to the hole on his right and said "Jump through there, that would lead you to where you want to go.."
I thought he was joking, but he wasn't.. even if it was only a dream.
I trudged towards the hole, peered through it and saw CITY beneath my feet.
I stumbled back.

A huge arm steadied me.
"Listen.. Either you jump through that hole or I kill you. Don't be shocked, this is what I was employed to do. That is the hole through time, boy." he said. (I felt pity for him. I mean, who would actually get employed to guard this secret of "the hole". but wtv la, a dream's a dream)

Before I jump I asked for his name, for I wanted to promote him to be one of COUNCIL's members raher than work for the CITY. I didn't know I was free falling till i heard him shout his name above the roar of the wind. "I'm Calvin."

Present moment.
Free falling in the sky in a dream isn't as pleasant as it sounds, it's cold.. (note to self : deactivate the air-con's winter mode tonight)
As I was falling, CITY seemed to be coming up to my face real slow...
Three Letters form vertically out of nowhere and it was gone before i could remember them. :(

Anyway, to cut the story.. or rather dream.. short, I landed on my feet, tried cutting away the wild overgrown floras that entangle themselves over us, but couldn't.. So i helped as many people to get away from CITY asap.

The scene change.
I had an idea in my head on how to get rid of these bushes.. but when i looked all about me, i was at the outskirts of CITY and furthermore, everyone was exhausted. I was disappointed because the idea turned into reality (in my dream, mind you), as a flamethrower appear out of nowhere and onto my hands.

But then...
I woke up. T.T

17/01/2012

Dream 002

Note to self: this is a summary and fragments of what was remembered.

- Shift house again.
- Saw Girl V for the first time in dreamworld.
- She just moved in to bu6.
- She suggesteed that we should go out by "call me when you're free, we'll meet at the park".
- The park is square-shaped.
- Abrupt wakeup for school.

written on 17/01/2012
but dream it a few days ago..