"..no way in hell that I'd get back with my ex.." is what I told myself.

"..no way in hell that I'd get back with my ex.." is what I told myself.

A month plus a few days after the breakup.. I miss her.
(to make matters worst)
...and I wonder if she does too.

This state of longing.. I hate to be in. I want to have her back in my life, but I know it will only make it worse.
This gap inside me.. an emotional gap. I want it to be filled. I want to love again.
(Ironically, I used to hate loving and stayed in my own world of a nutshell.)

My fingers itched to click on the "add friend" button on every social media we shared.
She was my everything.
We understood each other completely.
But I held myself back. I know that it won't do any of us good, particularly.. me.
My finals is in 3days time... and I'm dwelling in the past, not that I can help it whenever these mood swings strikes.

Tears clogged up my throat and it becomes tight as I struggle not to let these emotions overwhelm me.
I 'stumbled' upon pictures of us and I just.... can't help but feel very very sad and I just scrunch up myself, as if making myself seem tiny would help ease these scars in my heart fade away..

*whispers*
I just want to love again.

...my voice, if any hears with discernment, is filled with sorrow behind a blast of forced jolliness, called hype.

morning blues.. literally.
10:15am 14th May 2014