Bizzare

To wake up to a monotonous life,
to put on a mask and take on a character,
To humor, to comfort,
to encourage, to console,
To cheer someone up, to cry for them, to keep them in prayer.

Ending the day with vain words from 'family',
and then put myself to bed with no one to say goodnight to.
Such is my life, to color the lives of those around me at the cost of my own.

I may not be the saddest person on Earth,
but this grief is heavy and may someday bloom into a curse that constricts my entire being.
Tears has become totally worthless.
I've turned over too many leaves to 'start' over.
My identity has taken the shape of the character I adapted.
I've become the 'actor in my own play'.

I see no end.
I see no light in this tunnel.
God help me.
Please.