April Fool's Story - A league of legends Fan-Fiction

Foreword

I attended a party four years ago. One that I could never forget.

It was so crazy that Rito wanted nothing to do with it.

(They still don’t.)

The party was held at Archduke Nasus’ mansion.

Nasus was infamous for being stingy. Hence, all who received the invite were shocked by
this display of generosity and simply could not pass it up. After all, it was the Archduke
Nasus’ invite.

So, I bet you can imagine, my dear reader, how unruly things can get on this rare but
wondrous occasion.

Without further ado, let the story unfold!

➤

All was calm in the garden, until...

“REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

A shrill scream fills the air.

"The tides call you sashimi." A stout amphibian who walks like a human bellows.

“Eww, whale breathe.” Lady Nami-tee pinches her nose in disgust. “Would someone be
kind enough to remove Sir Kench away from the buffet table?”

“This is not how a guest is to be treated.” Kench retorts and storms off towards the other
side of the garden. "You are a malodorous offense to my palate!"

“Are you unharmed, little missy?” A fully clothed man approaches the Marai Vastayan.

Nami squints her eyes and scratches her head.

“Are you perhaps... Udyr?!!” Her eyes wide with realization.

"If PETA asks, this fur is fake." Udyr replies.

“God bless the Manatee! What are you wearing in this awfully hot weather?”

“Don’t judge. Nanny sew this outfit for me.” He gestures at his adult-sized onesie.

“I ain’t judging but you’re definitely not Udyr.”

An awkward silence befalls the two and it is Lady Nami-tee who breaks it.

"Sometimes you're the catch. Sometimes you're the bait."

“What does that even mean??” Udyr is puzzled.

(This thick-headed man-beast) Lady Nami-tee thinks to herself.

“Let’s head back to the mansion. I fear we may need to check up on our other esteemed
 guests.” Nami leads Udyr by the arm, not giving him the satisfaction of an answer.

➤

Rows upon rows of the Archduke’s statues line up the walkway. Each figure has a pose
grandeur than the last.

At six feet four, a very egotistical Noxian stands amongst them.

His name is Draven.

"Let's admire me for a bit." Draven boasts to no one as he fantasizes of replacing all of the
Archduke’s sculpture with his own. Currently, he wears a large bobblehead of his own face
together with his classic outfit: a waist-length war mantle, leather leggings, spiked
vambraces and greaves.

“My man, Draven!” A deep voice resounds behind the Noxian. "You'd look better after a good
mauling."

Enraged, Draven turns towards the man who dare mock his handsome face.

(Well, handsome bobblehead.)

His anger turns to surprise immediately.

“Udyr, is that you?” Draven asks.

“My man, hold your tong-.”

“What in Manatee’s madness are you wearing!” Draven interrupts.

“Exactly my reaction!” Nami chimes in.

Udyr fumes and seems to be on the verge of tilting when he spots something suspicious.

“Cleansing fire! Is that a walking cake?” Udyr points at what appears to be an emerald
coloured pastry with melted fuchsia topping.

That gets everyone’s attention.

Meowkai cease reanimating cat plushies. Definitely Not Vel’Koz slip and falls over one of his
tentacles. Moo Cow Alistar and Super Kennen come out of hiding. Even Pug’Maw stops
chewing on Renektoy.

“I-is that Amumu?” Lady Nami-tee stutters.

All hell breaks loose not a moment after she says that accursed name.

Both guests and mansion’s staff are in a panic. No one expects the least favourite person to
receive an invite. Had the guests known beforehand, this party would have been a no-show.

Boom!

The petricite fortified oaken double doors of the mansion swing wide open and a towering
figure steps out of the shadows. Donning a purple Wellington hat and an expensive blue
overcoat, Archduke Nasus hold his cane up high; demanding attention.

All is still as a petite woman come forth from behind the Archduke. She wears a floppy sun
hat and a two-piece violet bikini. In one hand, she holds a crescent-ended staff, and in the
other, a scroll.

The woman opens the scroll and begins to read its contents with a clear voice.

“I am Soraka,” she introduces herself, “and I represent the Order of the Banana. You have all
been pranked by the magnificent Archduke of Runeterra, Archduke Nasus the Best Doggo.
That is not the cursed mummy, Amumu. It is an enchanted costume that looks just like him.
Behold, you have been fooled!”

Silence ensues.

“I said.” Soraka looked at the confused attendees, “You have been fooled.”

The silence persists.

“You. Have. Been. Fooled.” Soraka stamps her slender hooves enunciating each word.

The silence is becoming unbearable.

Draven coughs roughly and Udyr starts clapping at an irregular beat.

Like a ripple effect, everyone else joins in at this change of atmosphere. Vel’Koz and
Meowkai are laughing nervously. Moo Cow Alistar and the other party animals are clueless,
but they make just as much noise as the other invitees.

Archduke Nasus is glad to have guests who appreciate his sense of humour.

“We approach a time for celebration. Resume the party!” Nasus declares as he lowers his
cane.

Free from any instinctual restrains, Pug’Maw proceeds to chase after Renektoy. Super
Kennen lifts Moo Cow Alistar and make haste towards the nearest bush; away from the
adorable abomination.

It does not take much for the other guests to ease up and enjoy their time at this party.

➤

Meanwhile, a disgruntled portly creature plods aimlessly on the opposite end of the garden.

Faint sounds of wailing reach his heart.

Sir Kench finds a sobbing boy in green overalls not too far away, separated by a fence.

“Hello there.” Kench tips his hat in greeting. “Why are you crying?”

The boy gathers himself and answers. “I’m not invited to the party.”

“Coveting friendship is barely an appetite - but one I do so sympathize with.” Kench
whispers. “Why don’t we sneak you in, boy.”

Sir Kench feels conceited and hides a smirk as Amumu grins in delight.

➤

A crowd gathers inside the ballroom.

Royal purple curtains were drawn over the beautiful stained-glass windows to keep out the
harsh midday sun. An elegant chandelier hangs twenty feet above the Arabescato Corchia
marble floor.

“Nami, what is going on?” Udyr beckons her over.

“It’s time for the Lucky Draw! Where’s Draven?”

“Hmm? I thought he was with you?”

They both swivel their heads in search for a bobblehead among the crowd and are not
disappointed to find him admiring himself in front of a giant mirror.

A few noble ladies can be seen twirling their hair or flaunting their puffy skirts in attempts to
woo the self-absorbed Noxian.

“Look! The Du Couteau family is here.” Nami exclaims as she notices Lady Katarina, her
younger sister Lady Cassiopeia, and adopted brother Talon loiter by the west wing.

“Oh no.” Udyr gave Nami a nudge. “The Crownguard siblings are here too. They’re at the
east side of the ballroom.”

“I hope they leave their military rivalry outside the vicinity. I was looking forward to enjoying
this party.”

“I’ll protect you should anything happens.” Udyr assures her. “Besides, I don’t think anyone
would do anything foolish in Archduke Nasus’ mansion.”

Nami turns away from the man-beast in hopes of hiding her blush.

Brrrring.

The sound of a bell quietens everyone.

In the middle of the ballroom, a section of the floor begins to elevate. Soraka appears to
be on it.

“Ladies, gentlemen, Yordles, Vastayans and everyone present.” Soraka announces atop
the podium. “The Lucky Draw event is about to start! Please check your pockets, everyone.
You will find a token with your designated number.”

Those who are present can’t help but gleam with excitement.

From his pocket, Udyr fishes out a silver token imprinted with the number “41”.

“Please do not lose your tokens as you will need it to claim your prize.” Soraka forewarns.
“Now, I’m sure everyone is eager to know who the winners of the day are. But first, a word
from our beloved host, Archduke Nasus the Best Doggo!”

Nasus emerges from an antechamber that was magically camouflaged in between two
glass-stained windows.

“My esteemed guests!” the Archduke proclaims, “This has been a wonderful event thus far.
And I am glad to be your host for today. I wish the party could go on but, alas, we have run
out of food due to a certain guest with an insatiable appetite.”

All heads turn towards Sir Kench as he puffs out his chest proudly, not sensing the
provocation in Nasus’ voice.

“How delectable.” Kench declares.

“However, it is my pleasure to end this celebration with a lucky draw. Drum roll please!”
Nasus continues.

The sound of drum rolling in the background as the Archduke calls forth the winners by
picking a random number from a raffle box presented to him.

“Third place goes to… ninety-four!”

A hand shot upwards holding a token with the number “94”. Everyone applauds and give
way to her as she strides purposefully to claim her prize.

“Fiora of House Laurent, I present to you the finest sabre of all Runeterra, forged by the
Freljordian demi-god, Ornn.”

Fiora bows as she took her gift with both hands.

“Sharp blade, sharp mind.” She commented on the sabre.

“Second place goes to… one zero eight!”

Hold aloft by a pool of water that ebbs and flows at her command, the crowd cheers as
Nami approaches Nasus.

“Nami, one of my loyal staff. Congratulations! You have earned yourself two tickets to visit
the newly built theme park in Piltover.”

Nami bows in gratitude and approaches Udyr immediately.

“Let’s go together next weekend!” Udyr nods as there is no way to resist her starry eyes.
The guests around them both coo and cheer.

“And now, first place goes to… one two six!”

Everyone breaks out in a massive round of applause while a very disappointed Noxian steps
over his token furiously.

The clapping went on for quite an unusual duration.

Someone calls out just when the Archduke is about to draw another number from the raffle
box.

“Wait!” The voice belongs to Sir Kench.

Archduke Nasus motions him over with his cane.

“Sir Kench, was the food too ‘delectable’ that you care not to claim your prize?” Best Doggo
jests.

Half of the crowd finds the joke funny, while the other half laughs to accommodate the host.

“I beg your pardon, Mister Archduke.” Kench tips his hat politely.

“Fret not Sir Kench. Today is your lucky day! For you have won yourself an ‘All-you-can-eat’
pass at Pantheon’s Bakery for one week!”

“Why, thank you, Mister Archduke. I have something to present to you as appreciation for the
splendid buffet.”

The ballroom livens up at this turn of events.

“You can come out now, boy.” Sir Kench bellows loudly.

The atmosphere is disturbed by a sudden shriek.

“It’s the walking cake from before!” One of the noble ladies screams in terror.

“Tch. A joke loses its effect after the first time.” Someone responds unkindly.

“Archduke,” one of Nasus’ personal staff whispers, “I don’t think it’s wise to repeat this cruel
prank. It will only ruin your reputation. Furthermore, it’s no longer funny.”

“You should listen to him, Mister Archduke.” Kench gives a devious wink. “It’s no longer
funny.”

“I’m not pulling the strings on this one.” Nasus pales as he attempts to remove himself from
this unforeseen event.

The walking cake totters between him and his escape route.

“I’m glad that you made this costume of me, Archduke Nasus. I didn’t know that you want to
be my friend.” Amumu hugs the Archduke tightly and looks him in the eyes. “Not giving me
an invite… It was all a joke. Or was it?”